Oklahoma City’s public art collection is about to get even more... suggestive.
Yesterday afternoon, Mayor McSelfie proudly announced that the city has formally accepted a new public art project in Bricktown.
Dubbed “Cloud Embrace” by its designers, the sculpture—which is apparently a large cloud that’s taken the shape of a giant, sexually suggestive clam—was apparently designed to challenge the infamous OKC Cock Ring for the title of the city’s most unintentional – or very blatant – erotic piece of public art.
Here’s McSelfie’s post about it:
Yep, how about that?! Not only can you marvel at the clam’s exquisite beauty, but you can also touch it and walk around inside it.
Knowing that, maybe a more appropriate home would be Valley Brook!
Actually, I take that back.
Between this, the OKC Cock Ring, and that rogue semi-truck that shot a load of vibrators and lube across I-40 like it was Ryan Walters watching a PragerU video, our city is clearly making a name for itself in the adult novelty business.
At the very least, it helps make up for the demolition of the “Egg Church” on NW 36th Street—also known as the Boob, the Nipple Dome, or Our Lady of Aerodynamic Areolas.
If you're going to tear down something iconic and round, you might as well replace it with something hollow, ridged, and clammy.
“Haha, Patrick. I get what you’re doing, but that statue is of a cloud. Not a clam. It’s supposed to represent Oklahoma’s big sky and sunsets and stuff.”
Yeah, I hear you. But here’s the thing about clouds: people tend to see all kinds of things in them. A bunny. An automobile. Steve Lackmeyer hailing a Bricktown water taxi. They’re nature’s Rorschach test.
Clams, on the other hand? You pretty much just see a clam. And unfortunately for OKC, this clam looks like it came straight from the statuary section at Patricia’s.
That said, I will give Mayor McSelfie some credit for standing tall and backing this bold new addition to the city’s accidental adult toy aisle.
Normally, in controversial situations like this, he hides behind the ol’ “Hey, I’m just one vote of nine” excuse—but this time, he leaned in and fully supported the giant clam with a glam bam thank you, ma’am. Well done, sir!
According to media reports, the Bricktown Clam won’t be available for public exploration until 2026. It’ll be fun to see how much Mayor McSelfie blushes at the ribbon cutting.
It’ll also be interesting to see what sexually suggestive piece of public art the city dreams up next to complement it. For example, maybe we can commandeer and steal the Phallic Fun Park from Edmond and drop it in the Paseo?
When and if that happens, we’ll let you know. Until then…
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
