Just like we said she would, State Representative Cyndi Munson – the cool single aunt of the Oklahoma Democratic Party – officially announced yesterday morning that she’s running for Governor!
I, myself, have been eagerly anticipating the news, as it will give me a new Democrat to lampoon and the opportunity to say, “You heard it here first.”
Although she has little to no chance of pulling out a victory, Cyndi made the announcement on the State Capitol steps.
In her speech, she talked about her background and experience, and hit all the mainstream Democratic talking points that most Oklahomans are either A) against or B) don’t care about. You know, woke things like taxing the 1%, improving public education, and allowing women to have the bodily autonomy to trust their own moral compass and decide on their own if they want to welcome a new life into this world.
As I mentioned earlier, Cyndi radiates “cool aunt who probably drinks too much and occasionally smokes cigarettes but we’re cool with it because she’s fun” vibes – which, on that note, shouldn’t her announcement have matched that style?
Where were the balloons, DJ, and her attractive single childless friends standing behind her dancing and cheering?!
If you have no chance to win and are relatively unknown outside the Liberal OKC Creative Class Clique, at least play some political theatre and make it look like you have an enthusiastic audience behind you.
“Whatever, Patrick. There were people there, you just couldn’t see them!”
That’s great, Cyndi Munson’s friend, but you have to pander to the four million people who weren’t there!
For example, remember how Gentner Drummond took a bunch of cops, filled them up with beef burgers, and then paraded them out all full and happy for a photo op and endorsement? Cyndi should have done that with teachers, nurses, or the performers from the Sunday BOOM!
In addition to the press conference on the Capitol steps, Cyndi put on her newest pair of Mom Jeans and filmed a campaign launch video.
Instead of the usual montage of Cyndi shaking hands with senior citizens at a diner, chatting with couples at their kitchen table, or strolling through a park with her family, the video bucked campaign norms.
As royalty-free acoustic guitar music gently strummed in the background, we got to see Cyndi load a cardboard “box of memories” into the back of an empty pickup truck bed and talk about having to move a lot as a kid.
As a kid who went to a different school in 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th grade, I know what it’s like to move a lot and how it can lead to commitment issues later in life. That being said, it’s a bit unusual to see a politician lean heavily into their childhood trauma in their campaign launch video. They usually save that ammo for when they need an excuse for doing something wrong!
Seriously, the announcement was way too melancholy. It was almost as sad as the one Scott Inman dropped a few years back when he briefly ran for Governor:
Also, shouldn’t Cyndi’s childhood memory box be filled to the brim with old trophies, school certificates, and the ashtray you made at summer art camp in the 6th grade? Isn’t it kind of weird that the only thing in Cyndi’s was a graduation cap and a family photo from way back in… 2015?
I have to say, for a cardboard box that’s been through a lot of moves over the years, it sure is in remarkably good shape! Like, shouldn’t it have a ding or two in it, and not look like something a campaign manager bought from Office Depot last week?
Anyway, as you can tell, I wasn’t a big fan of Cyndi’s announcement or video.
If you’re going to lose – and let’s be real, she is – at least be yourself (the cool aunt). Also, lose with some flair! Give the people something to talk about, meme, and maybe even accidentally vote for. Otherwise, it’s just another forgettable campaign stuffed in a pristine cardboard box of memories.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
